Sophia: "Want to see my teeter-totter eyebrows?"
Daddy: "Teeter-totter eyebrows? Sure!"
Sophia: "It goes like this." (She closes one eye and then the other, which makes her eyebrows go up and down in an alternating fashion, kind of like, um, a teeter-totter.)
Daddy: "Cool, Sophia. Where did you learn that?"
Sophia: (In a most serious and important voice) "Oh, I've been doing it for YEARS...even before Cassidy was born."

It was hard to hold back our giggles. Fortunately, Sophia was in just the right kind of mood to giggle along with us.

Cassidy started saying "mama" this week! When she says it, she sticks her lower lip under her top teeth, which makes her look like a little bunny rabbit. Although Cassidy doesn't have many understandable words at 15.5 months, she comprehends everything we say and communicates very well with sign language and pointing—she uses the sign for "please" a lot, which is so sweet. And she babbles with speech inflections, and looks at us like we should totally know what she's trying to say.

Cassidy also started saying "juice" yesterday. I had given her chocolate milk in her sippy cup (she doesn't like milk, but I keep trying), and after taking a big swig she looked at the cup in disgust, looked at me, and pleaded, "juuuuice!" The girls knows what she wants!

I wrote a very short song on the way to my Authentic Movement class last Thursday night, and this whole busy week I was trying to figure out a quick way to record and post it to the blog. So yesterday when Sophia was interested in taking some video, I got the idea to have her record me singing. She was VERY excited to do this. And then she wanted me to record her rendition of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." Cassidy was quite happy to be a part of the experience too.

Raising a kid is as hard as it is rewarding. It just is. I love being a mom, and I love both my girls, but there are times when I've got no clue what to do next. Totally at a loss, and NOT feeling in control of the situation. That's pretty much how the past year and a half has gone. Me, not in charge and even a little scared of my very willful 3 year old.

A few of my mom friends and I had a "ladies night" last month, and at the end of the evening I had a chance to commiserate with the mom of a "spirited," as she calls him, 3 year old. Like me, she'd been feeling at her wit's end for a long time. She mentioned a book called "Raising Your Spirited Child" that had helped her accept her son's sometimes challenging personality. Later I looked at the reviews online and decided on a similar book that was purported to give useful, practical tactics for dealing with my child, "Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child: Eliminating Conflict by Establishing Clear, Firm, and Respectful Boundaries" by Robert J. MacKenzie, Ed.D.

"Setting Limits" is exactly what I needed. I love this book. LOVE it. Looking back, I realize that there has been far too much cajoling, persuading, bargaining, rescuing, and overlooking. I mean, when the only way you can get your kid to take a bath is to make up a fantastic story, complete with funny voices and theme songs, and your kid STILL screams and flails...And when you avoid asking your child to pick up her toys because you know you'll have to ask her 400 times and she will ignore you and then end up in a crying fit while YOU pick up the toys...And when you have to put a door handle lock on your child's bedroom because she won't stay in bed, and she responds by kicking and body-slamming the door and screaming loud enough to make the neighbors wonder...And when you try so hard to work things through and talk it out and try again and then end up so enraged that you are this close to spanking, which you are totally opposed to...Not so good.

Reading "Setting Limits," I've discovered that my temperament and Sophia's are quite opposite. She's definitely strong-willed, and I'm the compliant type. That's probably why Sophia has been a mystery to me. I'd been assuming that she, like me, would want to obey Mommy because it's the nice thing to do. But alas, my strong-willed girl wants to do things HER way, when SHE wants to, and because SHE says so. Yikes. No wonder I haven't been feeling like I'm in charge. I guess I haven't been.

So, now I have tactics for dealing with Sophia—tactics that work for her temperament. When it's time to clean up, she needs me to say: "It's time to put these toys away before you do anything else. If you don't clean them up, I will need to take them away for the rest of the day." Or this: "It's time to go to school. I'm setting the timer for 5 minutes and then you need to be ready. If you are not ready, you will not be bringing your favorite toy to school." Here's another good one: "It's time to get ready for your bath. If there is any screaming or fighting, you will have a time out when the bath is over." And time outs are with a timer. Three minutes, unlike my previous system of, "You can come out when you are feeling calm, Sweetie." And those are just a few of the clear, firm, and respectful tools I've pulled from the book.

It's been a month of using the methods in "Setting Limits," and can honestly say that I really feel in control. I say what I mean; I mean what I say; and Sophia knows it. I think she feels more secure now that Mommy has taken charge. Our relationship seems much stronger and more loving. And I know she is aware of the change. I recently heard her tell Cassidy,"If you put my toy in your mouth, then I will have to take it away from you. OK, you put it in your mouth, so now I'm taking it away." Um, wow. I swear that was a scenario straight out of the book. It's working!

Cassidy got a great card for her first birthday from Aunt Linda and Uncle Don. It's got cartoon hamsters on the front, and when opened it plays "The Hamster Dance Song." This card totally wins the prize for "Most Entertaining Kid's Birthday Gift of the Year," and it also is great at distracting Cassidy from the pain of her molars coming through. Over the past two days the girls have played the card about 50 times, complete with goofy dancing routines. Take a look and a listen. I'll bet you won't be able to sit still when you hear the song...I know I can't!

Shortly after Halloween, Cassidy decided she no longer wanted to sit still and play with her toys, nor did she want to crawl on her belly to get from here to there. Instead she demanded to be walked all over the house holding onto our fingers, repeatedly, non-stop, or wailing would ensue. The girl really REALLY wanted to learn how to walk. With only two weeks of practice, and just shy of 11 months old, Cassidy is now walking almost totally on her own and is quite proud of her accomplishment. Having a big sister is great motivation!

Today I got a blog comment from a woman who's interested in trying the Specific Carbohydrate Diet (SCD) but has concerns about getting enough calories and nutrients to continue breastfeeding her 8-month-old daughter. Here's her blog comment and my reply, for those who are interested in this topic. Keep in mind that the food list I included in my reply is enough calories for me when breastfeeding only FOUR times a day with Cassidy eating a lot of solids too. When I was nursing Cassidy 8-10 times a day I ate more almond flour baked goods, probably 2 more muffins or what-have-you per day.

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November 11, 2008 10:03:40 AM
Hi Amy,

Just found your blog on a search of "scd diet + breastfeeding" on google. I'm inspired by your story. I have ulcerative colitis and have been flaring on and off since I was diagnosed 1 1/2 years ago. I flared throughout my pregnancy, was hospitalized for a week, and then gave birth 7 weeks early after a placental abruption. Anyways, my daughter is 8 months old and healthy as can be, but I am still flaring. I'm thinking of trying the SCD diet, but not sure I'll get all the calories/nutrients required to keep breastfeeding. Are you still breast feeding Cassidy? Had you talked to your doctors about this at all? Thanks for any help you could offer.
Sincerely,
Audra
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November 11, 2008 9:01:32 PM
Hi Audra,

I'm sorry to hear about the health issues you've been having. I know how hard it can be to feel sick while taking care of a baby. I hope that I can give you some answers about my journey with SCD to help you decide if you want to try it. First off, I am still breastfeeding Cassidy four times a day, and I'm for the most part feeling great on the diet. I did have a flare several months ago when I cut down on feedings. I think this flare-up was related to hormone fluctuations. So I went back to the intro diet from "Breaking The Vicious Cycle"" (BTVC), and stayed on that for a few weeks. That got me back to a healthy place, and I've been feeling great since. I spoke with a nutritionist when I was pregnant, and she agreed that the SCD is very healthy as long as one includes enough fruits and veggies. She also said the homemade yogurt (I make it from whole milk) and the almond flour baked goods are a great source of calcium, calories, and vitamins. I also take a prenatal vitamin, calcium citrate, and Omega 3-6-9.

My doctors are all thrilled with how I'm doing and say that I'm eating healthier than most of their patients who eat a "normal" diet. I've had no trouble keeping enough weight on and actually am up about 5 lbs over my pre-SCD weight. You may lose a little weight at first with the intro diet, but once your body gets adjusted and you figure out how many calories from foods other than bread products you need to eat during the day, it should get better. Here's what I ate today as an example of what you might need to eat in order to get enough calories to breastfeed and keep your weight up (I won't include water in my list, but I do drink a lot of it all throughout the day):

breakfast:
2 eggs
1 cup homemade whole milk yogurt mixed with...
1/2 cup frozen wild blueberries
8 oz apple cider

snack:
banana with peanut butter

lunch:
2 slices of Lois Lang's Luscious Bread (from BTVC) with butter & honey
1oz cheese
1-2 cups homemade tomato soup (canned tomato juice, with homemade yogurt, salt, pepper, & honey)
handful of baby carrots
apple

snack:
cashews and raisins
dried prunes

dinner:
Parmesan Walnut Encrusted Chicken from Raman Prasad's "Recipes for the Specific Carbohydrate Diet"
1 cup pureed butternut squash (with honey, butter, salt & pepper)
asparagus
1/2 c applesauce

snack:
homemade Peanut Butter Brownie
1/2 c homemade yogurt

Let me know if you have any other questions about anything at all. Starting the SCD is a really big deal and it helps to have a support system, whether it be family, friends, or Internet buddies like me. :)

Take care,
Amy

Several months ago, Sophia informed us that she wanted to be a pirate for Halloween. Most of Sophia's 3-year-old girlfriends were going as princesses or fairies, so I got a lot of questions about how Sophia had made her costume selection. I believe her pirate obsession began last year when she watched a DVD about "Madeline and the Pirates," and then there was that "Max & Ruby" episode where Max was playing pirates. Ever since, she's been "hooked" (I just couldn't resist the pun).

Cassidy did NOT choose to dress up and was somewhat disgruntled when I stuffed her into a hot, yellow, fluffy bundle of cuteness. We weren't sure if her costume was a duck or a chick—the top half had a very duck-like bill, but the bottom half didn't have webbed feet. Chick? Duck? We decided she was either a "chuck" or a "dick," and for obvious reasons we went with "chuck."

Sophia has been learning lots of new songs at preschool and loves to sing them over and over again. I finally got some good video recordings of her super silly cuteness two Saturdays ago while heading home from a family outing to the grocery store.

In stark contrast to the lightheartedness of our 3.5 year old's serenade...these videos of Sophia were filmed moments before we pulled into our driveway to find that our kitchen window had been smashed with a rock, and someone had gotten away with our large flatscreen TV, laptop, Wii, and Xbox 360 (and our sense of security and trust in humankind). One of the worst parts about it was cleaning up the window glass covering every square inch of the kitchen. Not my idea of a fun Saturday afternoon. Why oh why can't everyone just think back on preschool, sing silly songs about green freckled frogs, and remember that there's a big difference between "sharing" and "stealing"?

We've been slowly putting this redesign together for the last several months and we finally felt that it was time to switch over to the new site. You may find some broken links and loose ends.  We are aware of many of the issues and will be taking care of them in due time. We intentionally launched the redesign before it was 100% complete so that some of the improvements that we've long been wanting to make, like larger photos and an album view, could finally be realized. We also thought it was important to shift the primary focus away from the blog and draw more attention to the daily photo, videos, and other content that we update more often.