RoboRanch

stephen | May 2, 2006 ( 1:38 PM)

Old Lady Pickup Lines

Until I had a kid I had no idea what it was like to get hit on. Strangers saying cheesy one liners, attempting to gain attention long enough to have a brief conversation and a long glance at the babe. It's awkward and uncomfortable, but I prefer the idea of old ladies pandering to my daughter than a bunch of teenage boys. Here's a few unique pickup lines:

On our way home from dinner at Old Siam in the WestGate Shopping Center:

"Did you get that at TJ Maxx?" (TJ Maxx was behind us)

At Wholefoods:

"So, you need to bring food to the grocery store?" (referring to the crackers we had brought to feed Sophia in the shopping cart)
"I have a baby too--he's 55 years old!" (um, Sophia is a girl, but OK)

At the Mall:

"Here's my baby!" (old woman pointing to her walker and referring to our stroller)

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Date Events Location
2/10 swim meet Brighton
2/17 swim meet Grand Haven
3/2 swim meet West Bloomfield
3/16 swim meet Milford
3/30 YMCA Indoor Tri Ann Arbor
4/5 10k Martian Meteor
4/18 - 4/20 1650 free,
1000 free,
500 free,
200 free,
100 free,
200 IM,
100 IM
State meet @ EMU
5/4 10k Burns Park Run
6/1 Half Mary Dexter/A2
6/8 Sprint A2 Tri
7/13 Sprint Waterloo
8/2 Half IM Steelhead