A Dingell Jingle

My congressional representative, John D. Dingell, who from now on I will be referring to as Congressman Awesome, recited the following poem on the floor of the US House of Representatives concerning House Resolution 579, which expressed the sense of the House of Representatives that the symbols and traditions of Christmas should be protected. "Preserving Christmas" has been a frequent topic for conservative talk show hosts, including Fox News's Bill O'Reilly:

Video of Congressman Awesome's recitation.

'Twas the week before Christmas and all through the House

No bills were passed 'bout which Fox News could grouse;

Tax cuts for the wealthy were passed with great cheer,

So vacations in St. Barts soon would be near;

Katrina kids were nestled all snug in motel beds,

While visions of school and home danced in their heads;

In Iraq our soldiers needed supplies and a plan,

Plus nuclear weapons were being built in Iran;

Gas prices shot up, consumer confidence fell;

Americans feared we were on a fast track to...well...

Wait--- we need a distraction--- something divisive and wily;

A fabrication straight from the mouth of O'Reilly

We can pretend that Christmas is under attack

Hold a vote to save it--- then pat ourselves on the back;

Silent Night, First Noel, Away in the Manger

Wake up Congress, they're in no danger!

This time of year we see Christmas every where we go,

From churches, to homes, to schools, and yes...even Costco;

What we have is an attempt to divide and destroy,

When this is the season to unite us with joy

At Christmas time we're taught to unite,

We don't need a made-up reason to fight

So on O'Reilly, on Hannity, on Coulter, and those right wing blogs;

You should just sit back, relax...have a few egg nogs!

'Tis the holiday season: enjoy it a pinch

With all our real problems, do we honestly need another Grinch?

So to my friends and my colleagues I say with delight,

A merry Christmas to all,

and to Bill O'Reilly...Happy Holidays.